Runs for Cookies virtual 5K and Weigh In

I had a good day today. I was up and out the door at 7:15 to go to my weight watchers meeting. I was disappointed to find I was up 1.4 pounds. I'm not going to worry about it too much as I know why. I had popcorn Thursday night and I didn't drink enough water on Friday.

I had 8K on my half marathon training schedule for today. I was hoping to get my run outside but we have a bit of a Pineapple Express happening. By this afternoon I knew that an outside run want going to happen. 

I headed up to the gym and was happy to pretty much have the women's section to myself. I started out in the treadmill and did a mile of hill repeats before I switched over to the AMT machine as my feet were going numb. I decided to do the next 3.1 miles there and count that as my Runs for Cookies Virtual 5K as I  am going to the Investors Group Walk for Memories tomorrow to represent the Alzheimer Society(where I work). After the walk my husband and I are going for dinner with a co-worker. 

After my 5K I moved back over to the treadmill to finish out the last mile to equal my 8K training run. 

I am so looking forward to getting back outside. My feet going numb is so not fun. My running store is getting in some new shoes as my preferred version of New Balance shoes won't be out until September.  I'm looking forward to seeing what Jason has selected for me. 

The wheels on the bus...

You know the child's song the wheels on the bus? "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheel's on the bus go round and round, all day long!"  I remember singing it as a child and lately it's been running through my mind as I look back on 2014 and take stock on what happened.  Somewhere around August, the wheels on the bus, they stopped going round and round and fell right off the flipping bus. 

The past four months have been bad months for me, not in any drastic way, but in my running and weight loss journey.  The wheels came off, rolled away and put the bus on blocks.  I steadily gained weight and stopped running in the fall, like I should have.  Not intentionally but it happened.  I'm not going to make excuses.  I could make up a ton of excuses but to what end?  I let the wheels come off the bus.  I stood back and watched it happen, put my fitness on the back burner and watched as the scale creeped slowly upwards. 

I had my wake up moment a week ago at weigh in.  The week after Christmas and despite not really tracking, I told myself I had been good.  That I ate properly during the holiday season, that I didn't really eat all that much baking or junk or...or...or.  When I got on the scale at weight watchers last saturday.  I saw a number that I had told myself I would never, ever, ever see again...but there it was, staring me in the face as though almost a year of tracking, weighing, measuring, running hadn't happened.  I found myself at the same place I had been 14 months ago.  I wanted to cry.  I held it together during the meeting and tried to be my usual cheery little self but my heart wasn't in it.  I couldn't get to the car fast enough.  I got out of the parking lot and lost it.  I cried, and I cried, I berated myself, and I yelled at myself.  Because I'm the only one to blame. 

In just a few short months, I did away with almost a year's hard work.  I'm the only one to blame.  it was my reboot moment. 

I came home and I pulled out my paper tracker, I updated my WW app on my phone.  I pulled out the scale, the measuring cups and spoons.  I went through the cupboards and made a healthy shopping list and planned our meals for the week.

I signed up for 5 races because you see, I have a half marathon looming in just 5 months and I figure the only way I can get myself ready for it is to have interim goals.  I signed up for another Run Clinic, to make myself accountable and to get ready.

I rolled up my sleeves, got my hands dirty and got those darn wheels back on the bus!  

For the past week, I weighed, measured and tracked everything I ate before I ate it!  I pulled out the water bottles and started drinking water.  I did the Resolution Run on New Year's day and I worked out a training plan to get me in shape in time for my run clinic starting on Jan 31st.

I got back on track and it paid off today with a 3.7 pound loss.  I'm happy that the scale went down, and now I need to keep it moving that direction.  I will be bringing my lunch to work everyday, no more going out for soup and a sandwich. I eat what I bring and only what I bring.  I will run at least three times a week,  sun, rain, snow, sleet.  I will run and I will be ready for the BMO Half Marathon on May 3rd. 

Confused!!

It's taken me a couple of days to write this post  I'm just really confused right now and I don't know what my body is doing.  I had a great week last week, my points were good, I didn't go over, I stayed completely on plan.  I was really expecting a pretty good loss.  Instead I got blindsided!

I headed to Weight Watchers on Saturday morning.  I wasn't wearing my regular weigh in clothes as I was going to be running from Weight Watchers to the Air Care Centre where my awesome husband was taking my car so I can renew my insurance.

I thought because of the different clothes, heavier pants and long sleeved shirt, that I may be the same as last week or down just a little bit.  I knew it was not going well when the receptionist looked at me surprised.  Had me step off the scale, she turned it off and then back on.  The result was the same.  She even said to me, that she didn't want to write that number down.  That had me really worried.  I leaned over the counter so I could see what she was writing and I was stunned.

I had a gain....not a little gain...not a "these aren't my usual clothes gain"  I had a major gain.  I gained 3.9 pounds! I gained almost 4 pounds in  a week.  I don't understand how that happened.  You need to burn 3500 calories to lose a pound so in theory I would have had to eat my usual calories plus another 11,000 calories to account for that gain!  I know I didn't do that.  I'm very strict on my accountablility, I account for all of my points before I eat them so there isn't even any "oops, I shouldn't have had that" things happening.

I am so confused.  I really thought that with my running I would be losing weight a little bit quicker, that it would help speed up my metabolism a little bit but it's just not happening.  I am so frustrated!!!

I honestly didn't even feel like doing my run, but my husband's cell phone battery was dead so I had no choice.  I had to run to the Air Care centre 4.5km's from where I was.  I didn't even enjoy my run.  It was a really bad run.  I haven't had many of them but Saturday's run was not good.  I felt sluggish, my legs weighed a tonne and I had a horrible pace going.  It was all I could do to keep going.  I spoke to my friend "J" about my run, and she said that simply sometime you have a bad run. Although she did agree that my sucky weigh in probably affected my mindset from the get go.  http://connect.garmin.com/activity/489977067

I now have less than a week to go before the BMO 8K.  It's the race I've been training for and a week ago I was sure I would do so well with it.  Now....I'm just not sure.  I know that I'll do it.  I know that I'll complete it.  I won't let myself get swept off the course.  That's my biggest fear and I just have to keep moving to avoid that from happening.  Two more training runs before the big day.  Hopefully they will be better.

Non Scale Victories

I am loving how active I have become and I'm loving the results I'm seeing.  This past week was a week full of activity and non scale victories.  I didn't have a scale victory this week though. Those pesky 6oz came back again.  I had a good talk with my new WW leader and she thinks I'm not eating enough.  She wants me to eat either all of my weekly flex points or at least half of my daily activity points.  I'm having a hard time doing this as I've never used them before unless it was for a special occasion but I'm going to give it a shot this week to see how it goes.

Let's start with the Activity part of the week. 

Monday: 5.81 km Walk   30 minute Beginners Yoga - Yes me and Yoga!  Who would have thought that one!   100 squats

Tuesday: 5.22 km Walk with the dog in the morning.  1.77km walk to lunch and back with a friend.  Had a great walk, great sushi lunch and fabulous conversation.  105 Squats.

Wednesday 3.75km Walk with the dog, beginners Yoga...yes, tried it again, maybe eventually I'll be able to do the downward facing dog instead of the playful puppy but I'm trying :) 110 Squats

Thursday 3.88km Walk with the dog.  No Yoga and rest day from the Squat Challenge, my legs needed the break!

Friday 3.32km Walk with the dog, 130 Squats and a 30 minute kickboxing session on a new dvd I picked up called Punch! (Thank you to the ladies at work who gave me a gift when I left to use towards my weight loss, I used some of that gift to purchase this!)

Saturday - Walking around Vancouver with my husband including a mad dash for the skytrain, and walking back to BC Place. 15,325 Steps for the day.  135 Squats.

Sunday - A variety of activity with no true way to measure it.  Volunteering at the Abbotsford Triathlon - set up and tear down of the Transition area including the fencing and bike racks, walking around the area and assisting the public and athletes.  Arrived at 630am and left at 1230pm.  My feet are crying so yes I'm counting it as activity, according to my pedometer I walked 13, 219 steps.  140 Squats.


Non Scale Victories for the week

Tuesday - walked to the restaurant for Sushi with my friend and slid into the booth, something I couldn't have done 7 months ago.  Wahoo!   Did I mention WALKING to the restaurant...not something I would have considered doing 6 months ago!

Wednesday - I did Yoga, for the 3rd time.  I'm not the most flexible person in the world and I worked hard at it and I stuck to it.  I didn't pause it, I didn't modify it, I did it!

Friday - Kickboxing DVD.  I worked hard in that work out, doing the steps, doing the hand movements, bobbing and weaving.  I didn't pause it, I didn't fast forward it, I stuck with it.  I sweated what felt like buckets but it felt so good to accomplish that.

Saturday - This one was HUGE for me.  Truly only someone who has had this predicament in the past may understand why it was so huge for me but for some other people it's probably a no big deal thing.  I went to a White Caps FC Match with my husband....I sat in the seat...I FIT IN THE SEAT... I wasn't crammed in with my sides spilling over the arm rest.  I was COMFORTABLE in the SEAT!!!!   I FIT INTO A STADIUM SEAT!!!!!  This was truly huge for me.  It made me feel so good and so satisfied that I'm making progress. 

Sunday -  This one honestly made me want to cry.  I volunteered at the Abbotsford Triathlon today, the largest size shirt they had was an XL.  I haven't been able to wear an XL t-shirt in probably 15-20 years.  In all seriousness.  I took the t-shirt and when I got to my area with my husband I decided to try the shirt on just to see.   Well hot diggity damn IT FIT ME!!!!  An XL shirt fit me, on top of the shirt I was already wearing.  My husband gave me a high five, a hug and a kiss and told me how proud he was of me.  I have to say...that t-shirt fitting me....made my day!

6 ounces!

A couple of months ago I seemed to be playing around with 2oz, I would lose 2 oz, gain 2 oz, lose 2 oz and on and on it went.  Well....this time around it's 6 oz.  Since my weigh in June 21st to Friday's weigh in on July 26, 6 oz keep showing up, getting lost and reappearing!

I was up 6 oz this week!  I had a massive loss two weeks ago, followed by a little loss last week, so I was expecting to be either the same or a smidge down or a smidge up so I'm not too worried about the 6oz.  Add into the whole mix a lunch out at a restaurant on Thursday afternoon with some awesome volunteers, and having no ankles due to the heat and I'm actually glad that it was only 6oz.

I've always retained water easily.  Eat a pickle gain 3 pounds of water weight.  Get hot, lose my ankles and my fingers swell up.  It has been something I've been dealing with since high school when my feet swelled so much inside my boots that two of my friends had to cut the boots off of my feet for me!    A few weeks ago, the swelling in my feet got to be too much, I couldn't get a pair of shoes on to save my life and the water retention was causing pretty painful leg cramps.

My family doctor suggested compression socks as a resolution/aid in the whole thing.  I went to my local running store and picked up this snazzy pair of compression socks.

I love how they put a grey L and R at the toes so you would put them on the right foot!

I can honestly say I think it is the best money I have spent in a long time.  My feet have been so bad this past week, that I'm coming home from work and fighting to get them on, and once they are on I instantly feel relief.  The burning stinging sensation leaves and I'm actually comfortable again within an hour.  The other night in the middle of the night, my feet were swollen, my ankles were gone and my feet hurt so badly that I was in tears.  I managed to get the compression socks on at 2am in the dark and after about an hour was comfortable enough that I was able to finally go to sleep.

Today is another of those days.  I woke up this morning with sore feet and legs but I wanted to go for my walk with Angus, so on went the compression socks and I had a great walk.  We didn't break any speed records as Angus was not in the mood to do intervals today, although I did drag him along with me when I tried to run (tried being the operative word when you have a dog trotting along behind you moaning and groaning with every step).  After getting home and showering I was heading over to take my mom shopping and decided to just wear my regular old socks.  I don't mind the bright pink socks, but they didn't quite go with the blue shirt I was going to wear :)

Half way through our running around I told my mom that I had to stop by my house and pick up my socks for when I took her home.  My legs and feet were killing me and were so sensitive to the socks I was wearing that it was painful to walk. When we got back to my parents house, after hauling all the shopping in, the very next thing I did was put my compression socks on.  It was struggle as my feet were swollen but after a few minutes of grunting and tugging I finally had them on.  Within an hour, the horrendous ache in my feet and legs was gone.  I am so thankful that I finally found something to give me a little bit of relief.  I fully realize I need to go to the doctor to let him know that the socks are helping but that the swelling and the pain are getting worse.  It's been about a month since the severe pain started.  I just need to figure out what's happening with my poor tender tootsies!

A weekend of getting Refocused

Friday's weigh in really threw me for a loop.  I was so upset with myself for having gained that I took some time in the afternoon to go back over my tracker the past two weeks to see if I could see where I was going wrong. 

It was as I was looking at all of my entries over the past few weeks that I realized I wasn't really doing anything wrong, but I wasn't giving it my all.   I think I had become complacent in my journey.  I wasn't paying as much attention to my portion sizes, I wasn't listing everything that I was eating and maybe I was giving myself too much credit for the activity that I was doing.  Did I really earn those 16 activity points?  Yes, I went hiking and we were gone for 2 hours, but was I working hard those full two hours?  Was I working up a sweat?  Was I exerting myself to the nth degree?  Probably not.

I've refocused what I'm doing.  I'm back to measuring, and weighing everything that I'm eating.  Friday night was date night, my husband headed over to the golf course driving range and then we were having dinner there.  I chose to walk the 2km's to the golf course.  I chose my dinner by opting for season fruit instead of fries or caesar salad with my dinner.  When we went to the movies, I bypassed the soft drink and took water instead.  I asked for a tray so that I could measure out some popcorn from my husbands bag and count the points accordingly.  Saturday and Sunday I started the day with a quick walk with the dog.  By quick I mean fast paced for 45minutes.  I'm truly working up a sweat on my walks, and it's not because it's warm out but because my heart rate is up and I'm walking as fast as I can.  I had become complacent with what I was doing that I lost my focus.

I'm refocused, energized and ready to rock this weight loss.  The gain last week didn't bring me down, it made me more passionate to be successful.

Confused

I'm confused.  I'm off work today so instead of going to my regular WW meeting in Vancouver, I went to the meeting here in Abbotsford.  I've had a great week of eating and a tonne of activity.  I earned 15 activity points on my hike alone yesterday, according to the Garmin I burned almost 1600 calories yesterday on our hike.  I was expecting a loss this week, with the amount of activity I put in, I was expecting to lose what I gained last week and maybe a little bit more.

Instead I had to fight back the tears as I read my log book.  I gained!  AGAIN!  Bigger.  I gained 3.2 pounds this week.  I don't know how.  I don't know why.  I'm at a total and complete loss.  I didn't have a single day where I went over my points.   In fact I had a few days where I didn't use all of my points.  But the fact of the matter is, in two weeks I have gained over 5pounds.  That to me is huge!

I'm frustrated and confused and I do wish that I was in town today so I could speak to my usual leader. I know that he would be able to sit down and help me work through where I'm going wrong.  There has to be a reason for it,  I just don't know what it is.

My initial reaction was anger.  Why am I putting so much work into this if I'm not going to see any results.  I've put so much effort into my activity and watching what I'm eating.  I've gone without things because I didn't have the points, only to gain weight anyway. 

I'm terribly frustrated today, but I'm not going to let that ruin the great week I've had.  Although the great week didn't show itself on the scale today, it's showing in the way I feel. 

I will stay on plan, I will stay on track and I will figure this out.

Rough Week....

For an unknown reason, this past week was a really rough week.  It was bad in all sorts of ways.  I didn't get my steps in, I didn't do my workouts.  I didn't get my walks in each day.  I took the skytrain instead of walking to work 3 days.

I don't know what was with me this week but it wasn't a good week in so many different ways.   It didn't help that it was also a hungry week.  I seemed to be constantly hungry this week and although I tried to stay within my daily points, at the end of the week I had used more than 20 of my weekly bonus points.  I have never used them in the past.

I only earned 38 activity points instead of the usual 60-70.

It all added up today and clubbed me over the head with a gain.

Not a little gain like it was a month ago, but a major gain.

I gained 2.4 pounds in a week.

2.4 pounds!  I am back to having lost under 60 pounds, and I was so proud of hitting that 60 pound mark.  I'm now at 59 pounds lost.  2.4 pounds doesn't seem like much but to me it is huge.

I will not let this get me down though.  I will not let this side track me.  I will not let this be an excuse to binge.

I am in control.  Me.  The person I want to be is in control and I will get over this hurdle.

I have a poster up in my office, and the words on it were never more true than they are today.

"Of course it's hard!  It's supposed to be hard.  If it was easy, everyone would do it"

Losing weight is hard.  I've had it too easy for too long, but no more.  I will get the upper hand and I will succeed!