Reset is working.

So three weeks ago I hit the rest button on my weight loss journey.  I'm very happy to report that on my Saturday weigh in I was down again.  I don't know how much I was down, but I was down and that's what is important.

It's been a challenging weekend for me with food this weekend. I haven't made the best food choices but I've tracked everything I've eaten and I'm happy for it.  I may not have any weekly flex points left after today's family bbq, but I had everything in moderation and enjoyed myself. 

I think I probably over estimated my points but that's a good thing.

This is a crazy busy week for me at work as I have a packed schedule.  Tuesday will be a challenge.  I have one of those rare 12 hour days as I have a morning of meetings and then a committee meeting for my upcoming event.  It's our last meeting before the event happens so I baked a banana bread to take with me to feed everyone.  I am taking my chopped salad for lunch and dinner, cereal for Breakfast and I have a banana, orange and some prune plums for snacking on.

By the way, if you're in the Metro Vancouver, Lower Mainland area, and want to join a great fitness event for a great cause, consider joining us on September 27th at Grouse Mountain.  The website for full details is www.hikemkgg.com

I won't be actually doing the Grouse Grind as I'm the Special Events Officer.  I'll be the one keeping everything on track and ensuring that it all goes smoothly.  If you do happen to join us, stop at the check in tent and ask them to find me.  I'd love to say hello and thank you for coming out!  

Hitting the rest button.

I came to a humbling realization two weeks ago, and with the great support of my Weight Watchers leader Mare (The best leader ever!)  I have hit the reset switch.  We reset my weight watcher information.  I hated seeing my pounds lost shrink as I've been dealing with my ankle injury and medication changes.  It was getting harder and harder to go to my meetings.  It was getting harder to face the same people week after week, knowing that I was gaining week.

I couldn't face seeing that number shrink, so we hit the reset switch.  I've reset my weigh watchers journey.  I've reset my activity.  I've hit the reset switch and I'm feeling good about it.

The first week of my reset I was down.  I don't know how much as I've asked not be given my number.  I don't want to know.  I just want to know if I am up or down.

When I'm feeling comfortable in my skin again. I may ask for the booklet I should have for recording my weight, but at this point I don't want it.

I think I've done pretty good this week as well. I'm tracking everything.  Every BLT (bite, lick and taste) get tracked before it goes in my mouth.

I'm already feeling better in my head space about my journey and I'm glad that I've hit the reset switch.   I'm even more glad for that stubborn streak I appear to have that kept me from quiting!

Wow where did the summer go?

My goodness where did the summer go?  It's been a busy summer and a frustrating one at the same time.

My ankle is taking its sweet time healing and I've been very frustrated with it. I haven't been able to run for so long now that I'll have to start all over again when I can run again. 

I've had to drop out of multiple races, although I did walk one race last weekend with my husband and cousin.  

We did the inaugural PNE Donut dash. A 5k race on opening weekend of the PNE. It was a hot muggy day but we had fun. I had to encourage my husband and cousin to go on without me as the further into the race we went the slower I  got as my ankle hurt. 

It was a great race and we had a blast ding it. It was really neat to be able to go around the fairgrounds before it was open. 

The race jig jagged through the park. The different characters from the shows at the fair were along the route to cheer you on. As you went down the fairway on one side you were handed bags of cotton candy. On the other side you were given little bags with 5 hot fresh mini donuts. When you crossed the finish line you got the ultimate in bling.  A beautiful medal, the largest one I have received to date. 

With your race kit you also received an entry to to the park. We decided to stay and go to the Beatles exhibit at the fair. Gary is a huge Beatles fan and we all really enjoyed it. 

All in all it was a great day.  A week later and my ankle is still sore, but it is hopefully getting better. 

Frustrated

I'm frustrated, so very, very frustrated.  My ankle has taken it's sweet time healing.  It's been seven weeks since I had to drop out of the Vancouver BMO.  I got the clearance to start running again last week.  I'm allowed to run for 30 seconds and then walk for 4 minutes.

I went for my first attempt at running after six weeks and I was thankful I was only running for thirty seconds as that's all I could handle.  I was huffing and puffing like a steam locomotive.  It has amazed me how quickly I've gotten out of shape.  I'm frustrated to be starting over again and already I'm doubting whether I'll be able to train in time for the Vancouver Rock'N'Roll half marathon in October.

I'm frustrated by my weight gain.  I've gained weight every week for the past seven weeks.  I didn't go to Weight Watchers last Saturday as I was volunteering at the Abbotsford Police Challenge Run.  To be honest I didn't want to weigh in.  It's the same with this Saturday.  I don't want to go to  WW.  I know I'm going to be up.  I weighed myself this morning.  I know what the number is going to be and it's a number that I haven't seen in almost three years and that terrifies me.  I've gained over ten pounds since March.

I'm frustrated with myself.  I've been working from home since March as our office undergoes renovations and it has not been good for me.  I don't get my activity in, my chair is literally four steps to the kitchen and a plethora of snack foods.  It's not all bad food, but when you eat just for the sake of eating this is the result.

I'm frustrated with my clumsiness.  I re-joined the gym on Monday, with the knowledge that my running friend and car pool buddy goes to the gym religiously and if I go with her, then I'll get my weight moving again.  I went on Monday night after work, had a good work out using the elliptical, I worked up a sweat, I had fun.

Then Monday night I took a tumble, fell hard, bruised both of knee's, hurt my back and smashed my elbows.  I'm a bruised mess.  I went to my sports doctor for my regular treatment on my ankle and she is concerned.  Where the pain is in my back is concerning for her, she wants me to get x-rays, so off I go to my Doctor on Friday, where he will hopefully concur or rule out the injury.  However, until I know for sure, she doesn't want me to do anything more strenuous than a light walk.

It seems for every step forward, I'm taking five steps back....and I'm frustrated.

Rough week.

It's been a rough couple of weeks for me and my running. I've been dealing with a nagging ankle for the past couple of weeks. I was looking forward to the BMO 8K this weekend. 

It is not meant to be. I've had to drop out of the race al together. My ankle has been getting worse. For the first time ever, this week my Sports Dr. Wrapped my ankle on Tuesday. She was concerned with the swelling and the shooting pain that I've been getting through it.  

I went back on Thursday and as she was treating me she began asking questions that I knew  weren't ones I wanted to hear.   Even harder to hear as she began to tape my ankle were my options. 

She would come to my hotel in Vancouver as she was going to be there anyway and wrap the crap out of my ankle so I could WALK the 8k race.  It  

could mean risking further injury and setting me back potentially for months.  Option two was to not do the race. Not do any excessive walking or running for three to four weeks and slowly build my way back to running.  

I have to admit. Laying there on her table I started to cry. This was my race. This was the "Race" I worked so had for and I couldn't do any of it. 

I was so disappointed and frustrated. So many thoughts were running through my mind and I couldn't make a decision. My knee jerk answer was yes come to the hotel. What time?  What do I need to have for you?    

I guess she could sense the internal battle going in in my head as she wrapped my ankle when she told me to think about it. Talk to my husband and text her by the end of the night. 

When I got out to my car. I cried some more, yelled a little, I may have even taken my frustration out on the poor steering wheel. 

When I got home I took a picture of my wrapped ankle and texted it to my husband. He called me as soon as he got it to ask if I was alright. I started to give him what my options were and as I was taking to him I knew what I had to do. 

I texted the Dr.  And told her that common sense and my husband had prevailed.  We were still going to go to the race.  However,  I'm going to be the best darned spectator I can be. 

So if you're running in the Vancouver BMO Marathon, half Marathon or 8K. Look for the lady wearing red around Pender and Jervis. That will be me cheering, clapping and holding my signs up!

Hard Decisions

It is said that if a decision is hard to make, it's a decision worth making. The Vancouver BMO half Marathon is under a month away and I faced a hard decision about it.

I came down with bronchitis in mid February. Up until that point my training was on track. I was feeling good about my pace. I was feeling good about my runs. I was feeling good all around. 

It took a round of powerful antibiotics in order to start feeling better. However my training fell behind. I didn't run for almost three weeks  When I did get back out there it was slow. I couldn't run for more than a minute or two without coughing my lungs out. It was not good. It still isn't the greatest. 

After last week's blog post I had several comments and a few emails from reader's encouraging me to continue on.  I posted a link to my blog on my facebook page and some of my running friends messaged me.  They were concerned for me and how I was doing, and the expectations I was putting on myself.  I had 10 miles on my training plan for last weekend and come Monday morning,  I hadn't run them at all.  I was trying to get the umption in my gumption to get out there and start my run when I got a text from my friend and running mentor Jill.  We were texting back and forth for a few minutes when she called me.

The words she said helped me face the decision I knew I had to make but I didn't want to.  After talking to Jill I realized what I had to do.  I hung up from her and went through to the office where my husband was working and told him.  "I'm down grading my BMO to the 8K."   I knew he would be supportive of whatever decision I made and I knew that he had been concerned about me being able to do the half marathon with how bad my breathing was.

Once I made that decision, I felt a huge sense of relief.  I knew I was putting pressure on myself to do the half marathon because I had set that as a goal for myself, and I don't like giving up on goals.  However reality had set in. 

1. My lungs couldn't handle the pressure I was putting on them by trying to race.
2. Because I had to take so many walking breaks my pace was in the 21 minute a mile range.  You have to be stay under 18 minutes a mile or you get swept off of the course.
3. My training was over a month behind,  I was risking injury if I did race the half marathon
4. I would have been miserable and it would not have been a good experience.

Although they are all good reasons for doing the 8K instead of the half marathon, number 4 makes the most sense.  I want my first half marathon to be a good experience, I don't want it to be horrible and I quit running or choose never to challenge myself with another one.  I also need to be able to train properly for it.

It wasn't an easy decision for me to make, it was a hard one, and once I made it, I immediately signed onto the participant dashboard and changed my race.  Once it was done, it was done and I felt such a tremendous amount of relief.  I went for my run after making the decision and the run was fun, I wasn't worried about miles, I was just running and trying to control my breathing.  I did pretty good.  I was still coughing but I felt good.   

I know I've made the right decision.  As a result, my first half marathon will be the Rock'n'Roll Vancouver half marathon on October 29th.  I will be running it with Jill and perhaps a few other friends, and it promises to be a great experience.
 

Getting "me" out of my head.

I've been struggling this week. Struggling with my running. Struggling with staying on plan. Just struggling.  I've made some pretty poor food choices and I've made some bad decisions in general. I didn't go to run clinic on Thursdsy. I had a bad day, had a headache was frustrated and running late so instead of making myself pick up the pace and getting there I gave myself permission not to go. 

Part of my reason for not getting there was the dog. Yes the dog. After I was done work I took him for a walk around the big block, 3K and on our way back across the green space at the top of the complex he did something he has never done before. He dropped onto his back and rolled in the grass. 

I have to admit, I thought it was cute and I did stand there and smile at him As he rolled side to side to side grunting away.  That is until he stood up and I was able to see what he'd been rolling in!

Looking oh so pleased with himself.

Yep. That would be animal dung. Most likely from the new cat that has been driving him crazy. But doesn't he look happy!  Unfortunately Petsmart was fully booked and couldn't fit him for an emergency bath.  I found some dog shampoo under the sink. We don't usually bath Angus ourselves when he has his winter coat. His type of fur is very hard to get wet. His breed of dog has a double coat of fur so the water in general just beads off him.  Forty minutes after his bath started he was finished (I think I was just as wet as he was). The bathroom looked like it had been hit by a water squall and Angus was out on the front deck to dry. 

I'm not talking to you, you gave me a bath!

I have a 10 mile run on my training plan this week and to be honest it scares me a little lot.  My half marathon is just 5 weeks away and I'm starting to doubt myself. Doubt my abilities. Ask myself what I think I'm doing? Who am I kidding?

I have 7 days left to make a decision on whether or not to change my half marathon down to the 8K. I don't want to downgrade but I'm facing a harsh reality. 

Having bronchitis and not being able to run has really messed up my training. I went into training in January with the goal of running 10:1 so that I could join a pace group and try to keep the group in sight.  At this point I'm struggling to run 2:1's. I start coughing and I can't catch my breath.

I had to bale on my 8 mile run last week at mile 3 because the wind was so strong I couldn't catch my breath. I'm very grateful that my wonderful husband keeps his phone nearby in case he gets that please pick me up call.

A beautiful day, however the wind was at 30 KPH

My hat kept flying off my head, even when it was backwards.

I'm feeling very demotivated right now.  I know that's my own problem. I'm the one talking negative to myself.  I"m the one doubting my abilities and questioning what I'm doing.   I have to find a way to get "ME" out of my head. 

How do you deal with your own negativity?