Struggling this week.

I'm struggling this week and I'm not quite sure why.  I had a great run on Thursday night with my run clinic.  I did 3:1's which I was feeling really proud of.  I went for dinner with my husband and one of my friends and made a wise choice for dinner.  I even packed half of it up into the to to go container when it was brought to our table.

I went to Weight Watchers on Saturday morning and I was down this week, which more than made up for the two slight increases last week and the week before.  I went for my run on Sunday, and I did 2:1's times 10.  I didn't struggle with the time I was running, I enjoyed my run.   I had fun with my run.

But I'm struggling.  I want junk food.  I want chocolate.  I want french fries....it's been a really hard day.  I skipped going for a walk on my lunch break because I knew I would end up in the drug store buying something I don't need.   I'm struggling to stay focused.  I really am, but the temptation to go purchase something and eat it even though I know deep down I don't want it is really hard.

I spent the night knitting tonight, knitting a few rows and then tearing it out, knitting a few rows and tearing it out.  All so that I would be busy with my hands and that meant I couldn't go raid the kitchen.  I had some popcorn with my husband earlier in the evening when what I really wanted was a bag of chips.

I'm struggling.  I keep expecting this journey I''m on to get easier, but that just hasn't been the case, 14 months into it and it's still a constant struggle.

I'm struggling.