Saturday, March 28, 2015

Getting "me" out of my head.

I've been struggling this week. Struggling with my running. Struggling with staying on plan. Just struggling.  I've made some pretty poor food choices and I've made some bad decisions in general. I didn't go to run clinic on Thursdsy. I had a bad day, had a headache was frustrated and running late so instead of making myself pick up the pace and getting there I gave myself permission not to go. 

Part of my reason for not getting there was the dog. Yes the dog. After I was done work I took him for a walk around the big block, 3K and on our way back across the green space at the top of the complex he did something he has never done before. He dropped onto his back and rolled in the grass. 

I have to admit, I thought it was cute and I did stand there and smile at him As he rolled side to side to side grunting away.  That is until he stood up and I was able to see what he'd been rolling in!
Looking oh so pleased with himself.
Yep. That would be animal dung. Most likely from the new cat that has been driving him crazy. But doesn't he look happy!  Unfortunately Petsmart was fully booked and couldn't fit him for an emergency bath.  I found some dog shampoo under the sink. We don't usually bath Angus ourselves when he has his winter coat. His type of fur is very hard to get wet. His breed of dog has a double coat of fur so the water in general just beads off him.  Forty minutes after his bath started he was finished (I think I was just as wet as he was). The bathroom looked like it had been hit by a water squall and Angus was out on the front deck to dry. 
I'm not talking to you, you gave me a bath!

I have a 10 mile run on my training plan this week and to be honest it scares me a little lot.  My half marathon is just 5 weeks away and I'm starting to doubt myself. Doubt my abilities. Ask myself what I think I'm doing? Who am I kidding?

I have 7 days left to make a decision on whether or not to change my half marathon down to the 8K. I don't want to downgrade but I'm facing a harsh reality. 

Having bronchitis and not being able to run has really messed up my training. I went into training in January with the goal of running 10:1 so that I could join a pace group and try to keep the group in sight.  At this point I'm struggling to run 2:1's. I start coughing and I can't catch my breath.

I had to bale on my 8 mile run last week at mile 3 because the wind was so strong I couldn't catch my breath. I'm very grateful that my wonderful husband keeps his phone nearby in case he gets that please pick me up call.

A beautiful day, however the wind was at 30 KPH

My hat kept flying off my head, even when it was backwards.

I'm feeling very demotivated right now.  I know that's my own problem. I'm the one talking negative to myself.  I"m the one doubting my abilities and questioning what I'm doing.   I have to find a way to get "ME" out of my head. 

How do you deal with your own negativity?


  1. Hang in there! I've been reading your blog ever since I read about you on Run's for cookies! There will be days/weeks like this but it's better to have one bad week than one bad month! It's also okay to run/walk your half marathon. Maybe run a mile/walk a mile! You cam do this!

  2. It is perfectly ok and AWESOME to run/walk your half marathon. I ran my first half marathon, ran the ENTIRE thing, behind a couple who were run/walking. We finished at the exact same time! Run/walking isn't a bad thing, it is an awesome thing!

    You are going to kick the half marathon's butt!