I've managed to go to the gym for 6 of the last seven days. I've worked hard, I've sweat and I've overcome some of my fears.
My husband and I used to belong to a gym that had a women's only section upstairs. I pretty much worked out up there exclusively. It wasn't as busy upstairs and when it was, I could put myself in a corner on the elliptical, put on my headphones and just go for it.
This isn't the case any longer. After hurting my knee last year and it progressively getting worse, the doctor suggested that I get into the water. As our gym didn't have a swimming pool and the REC centre down the street does, we switched over. I stayed in the water for a good six months but I wasn't getting the results I needed in the water, so back to the gym I have returned.
I have been very apprehensive about going into the gym of the Rec centre. There are a LOT of people there, not just on the equipment but walking the track, playing basketball or indoor soccer etc. The weight room is usually full of groups of men, grunting, groaning and generally making a lot of noise. I've been very wary of going in there. I need to go in there, I KNOW I need to go in there. I'm a fairly shy person to start with,(all right stop laughing!) I am when it comes to people I don't know, especially when I'm out numbered.
I had an incident happen this week, which almost sent me running with my tail between my legs. My beloved elliptical's were all being used, so I had no choice but to use a treadmill over in the section connected to the weight section. In had just finished my walk, I turned off my ipod but still had my earbuds in. As I was wiping down the machine, I over heard someone say something that almost stopped me in my tracks!
The young man, pushed one of his friends and said "Don't get on that one, the fat lady probably broke it." The small group laughed and went on their way into the weight section. It was all I could do not to run out of the Rec Centre. I was so upset I wanted to throw in the towel.
Last night, my husband and I headed up to the gym. I knew that I wanted to do some weights, I've missed doing them, but I didn't really want to go into the weight section by myself. My loving husband told me that when I was ready to go do my weights, come get him and he would go in with me and ensure that I got to use all of the equipment I wanted to use. I went and did my cardio and then headed over towards my husband at the other end of the rec centre where he was on the bike.
Something came over me though as I walked over to him. I had to do this. I had to get over my fear and just go in there. I told my husband that I would be all right and I plunged into the weight room. I almost walked right back out. One of the men who had been with the group earlier in the week was in there. I steadied myself, walked up to the machine I wanted to use, put on the hand grip I wanted and just got to work. Six reps later, I was ready to use another machine. Two men were leaning up against it talking, I walked up to them and asked them if I could use the machine, to my utter surprise they moved. I could feel the one man from earlier in the week watching me, because yes, I actually do know how to use the machines. When I was done with my the machines and it was time to go over to the free weight section, I turned and smiled at him, from the look on his face, I'm sure he knew that I had heard his friends. With my head held high, I went over and finished my workout.
It's amazing how grabbing the bull by the horns, really does make it possible to conquer your fears.