Shocked.

I am truly shocked. I don't know what to think or how to react so I'm just sort of stunned. My husband and I went to a hockey game recently. As is often the case, the mascot runs around the stands and they show him and the crowd around him on the jumbo tron above. As the game went on, during one of the "Radio Commercial Breaks" I looked up and saw this incredibly large woman who looked like she was stuffed into her seat. I started to feel bad for her when I realized it was me! I didn't even know what I looked like, it was seeing my husband that caught my attention that it was me. I am the incredibly large woman who was stuffed into her seat. I wanted to cry. I don't know how it is that I don't see myself the same way that other people see me. I had to ask my husband is that really, what I look like? I don't see myself as this incredibly large woman. I see myself as someone who has to lose weight, that is heavy, but I was shocked when I saw myself up on that jumbotron. How is it that we don't see ourselves the size we really are?

Body over all...

My body has taken over, went to the doctor and I have torn a muscle in my knee and my calf. I start my physio tomorrow morning at 7am. I tell ya, I think there is a conspiracy out there with my name on it and I've had it. The frustration level is through the roof as the Dr. doesn't want me in the water for at least a week so that the muscles can heal....argghhh, arrggghhh, arrrgghhh!

Mind over Matter

...or matter over mind. I have really been struggling in the two weeks since I returned from my trip to Toronto. Hurting my leg on the plane, has really put a wrench in my plans. I've not been to the gym in almost seven weeks now. (first the concussion, now the knee) I've not been working out and to be honest I haven't been tracking my food like I should have been doing. I have the world's most loving and understanding husband. He's patient and kind and never, ever, ever says anything about my weight or anything out.

He called me out. He did. My husband came through to me, sat down beside me and said "What's it going to take to get you back in the gym. It's been a month" I have to admit, at first my back went up. He knew my leg hurt, he knew that I had had a concussion, he knew, he knew he knew. I thought to myself.

And then I realized, I was making excuses. Yes, my leg hurts, when has that ever stopped me before? I blew my knee out on km 57 of the 60km Weekend to End Breast Cancer, but Crying and limping and getting angry at the suggestion that they could get me a wheel chair, I walked that last 700metre, because I was going to finish what I started darn it!

Where did that spirit go? Did it get lost along the way? Was it hiding under a bush some where? No...it's been here, but I've been putting matter over mind, not mind over matter.

I work the night shift tonight 1-9 so this morning, I'm off to aquafit. I enjoy it, and it gives me the exercise that I need and it will get me going again. And the best part? My husband. He just stood in the bedroom and smiled as I put my swimming kit together this morning.

Mind over matter....makes a big difference.

Work out!

Sort of! I've ended up having to work the weekend, a 10 hour day Saturday and again Sunday. Getting to the gym didn't get done. I did however take the dog for his walks around the block. Now, you may be saying, that's not a big accomplishment, but we have two blocks, there's our Horse Shoe which is 1km, and then there is the big block, 4.5km's. Add the 1km to the 4.5km and you get 5.5km's, twice, in one day! I was pretty happy!

The leg is still really sore, but I will continue to ice and heat it and it will get better. I hope you all have a fabulous day!

Headache Free!

Yeah! I have finally been able to go three whole days without getting a headache. The type of headache that feels as though there is a metal band wrapped around my head and someone is pulling on it as hard as they can. This is a good thing! A very, very, very good thing. I feel so much better. I can concentrate again, I can think without the cast of Riverdance stomping away in my head. Now the bad news. I went to Toronto last week and as I was walking off the plane I've wrenched my left knee. The pain has been pretty incredible. Heat and Ice are my friends...again! However, it's been over a week now, the leg still hurts but I'm aching to get back into the gym. I will go to the gym in the morning and I will work out. I'll let my leg guide me. I may have to get back in the water but at least I'll be moving again! Hip Hip HOORAY!